Ruin A Wish!

Granted, but then you fail.

I wish I wasn't having hot dogs tonight

Granted, but then you're having garbage burgers instead.

I wish I knew everything there is to know about...everything!

Never mind, I see how that could go awry.

I wish I knew why God made the grass green. I mean, why not some other color?

Granted, but then you are discontent with how it actually is.

I wish my other sisters dog would stop giving me her ball.

Granted, but then it gives you a bone instead.

I wish that I knew off the top of my head how to set up an integral for the volume of a solid torus.

Granted, but then you can't even solve two plus two off the top of your head

I wish I could see my neighbor's new baby.

Granted, but that's the only time you ever see him.

I wish I had a virtual reality setup.

Granted, but then you get stuck in your virtual reality.

I wish I was perfect at everything.

Granted, but then everyone hates you.

I wish I had a pogo stick.

Granted, but then you decide that pogo sticks are lame and unicycling is where it's really at.

I wish I knew why people change the story when they make a movie version. (besides the obvious goal of making more money)

Granted, but then you go bored because you have solved all of life's deepest, most important questions.

I wish that it will not rain in Burlington this weekend.

Granted, but then there's a tornado...

I wish there is no pizza with pineapple at my Bible study tonight.

What?! Why?!
Granted, but then it is pizza with anchovies.

I wish that someone would get on chat.

Granted, but right when they get on, you get sick of waiting an leave.

I wish that my room would clean itself

Granted, but then it breaks down and starts getting messy by itself.


I wish that I wasn't bored.

Granted, but then you are really bored!

I wish I had more time to finish Cryptography.

Granted, but you do mot use that time to finish it.

I wish that I had more 5 shorts.

Granted, but THAT'S TOO MUCH SHORTS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ALL THOSE SHORTS?

I wish I could go hang out with Matt Thiesson for a couple weeks and learn some stuff about music from him.

Granted, but he only teaches you about polka music.

I wish that I don't have to edit stuff.

Granted, but then the "stuff" turns out really bad.

I wish I was a penguin.

Granted, but then you are on a cliff and can't get down because you can't fly.

I wish I could sing well.

Granted, but only for one second.

I wish that when I was at a play when I was 4, and they threw Krispy Kremes into the audience (anachronistic humor), and I caught one, I hadn't given it to that old guy sitting behind me.

....
Granted?

I wish that I didn't have to clean my room.

Granted, but then you go on a road trip to find Odyssey in the time you would have been cleaning, and you end up crashing and being in a coma for three weeks. Then some guy named Kurt pretends to be your brother and gets you out of there. On your way home in his aunt's car, you suddenly have an extreme craving for Twinkies and so you stop and buy some at a vending machine, but they're drugged and when you wake up you're at home and your room's an even bigger mess because your brothers took over it in your absence, so you have to clean it anyway.

I wish I had better aim when throwing.

Granted, but only when you are throwing pumpkin seeds.

I wish that my socks would dry

Christina the Regina wrote:Granted, but then you go on a road trip to find Odyssey in the time you would have been cleaning, and you end up crashing and being in a coma for three weeks. Then some guy named Kurt pretends to be your brother and gets you out of there. On your way home in his aunt's car, you suddenly have an extreme craving for Twinkies and so you stop and buy some at a vending machine, but they're drugged and when you wake up you're at home and your room's an even bigger mess because your brothers took over it in your absence, so you have to clean it anyway.

I wish I had better aim when throwing.

THE BEST.