Ruin A Wish!

Granted. It was due yesterday.

I wish I liked dubstep.

*magical sparkly sound effect*

Your wish has been granted, but now you hate everything else. Thank you for wishing at Ruin a Wish. You have a great day now. Enjoy! =)

I wish I already passed my test so I don't have to study.. >_>

Granted, but you fail the next one.

I wish I had my own computer.

Granted, but it is extremely slow and crashes often.

I wish I had my drivers license.

Granted, but it's a driver's license from Disneyland.

I wish that all plants fed themselves through chemosynthesis, not photosynthesis.

Granted but then the sun dies.

I wish i was needed to save hyrule.

Granted, but it's a desert.

I wish my feet didn't hurt.

granted, but then the rest of your body hurts.

I wish my parents would leave for their trip soon.

Granted, but then your little brothers eat all the sugar in the house and have ten times their normal energy.

I wish I had some Cheetos

Granted, but then a cheetah comes up and steals them... then a great cheetah hunt begins and the police come to your door because there is a trail of Cheeto Dust on you door step. You get locked in jail and learn to speak prisonese and so you are not allowed around children for the rest of your life.

I wish that I was creative

Haha, that was funny.

Granted, but you are only creative in ways that pertain to gum.

I too wish that I was creative.

Granted, but then 116 arrests you for stealing his wish, and all you can do with your creativity is make things out of the paper plates your prison food comes on.

I wish someone would get on chat. I'm bored.

Granted, but then you'd still be bored.

I wish I could sew more in a day.

Granted, but you sew sew much more that your fingers turn into needles and you sticker everyone that you come into contact with and some D-III college hires you as their mascot because they are the fighting cacti. You spend the rest of your days popping balloons and making children cry.

I wish that my iPod would sync.

Granted, but instead of "syncing", it starts "sinking", and is ruined.

I wish that we had some decent food in this household.

Granted, but the 'decent food' is all that annoying canned soup that's almost all broth.

I wish I didn't have to wear sunscreen.

Granted, but then you burn to death.

I wish I had something to do.

Granted, but the thing you end up doing is a felonious crime, and you're jailed for life.

I wish I had an orange.

Actually, I found something to do: paint a giant clipboard.

Granted, but then it turns into an apple.

I wish that these headphones that I painted turned out better.

Granted, but then the paint would rub off onto your ears and never come off.

I wish my skin wasn't so dry.

Granted, but then it melts and you become a skeleton filled with organs and go around to schools for the rest of your life to teach children about anatomy.

I wish that I had a pickle

Granted, but it's hollow.

I wish I wasn't cold

Granted, but then you warm up by falling down a volcano and burn in lava.

I wish that I wasn't sun burnt.

Granted, but then you have frostbite and all your fingers and toes fall off.

I wish I had a tiny dog.

Granted, but it's so tiny you accidentally step on him.

I wish that I had some sausage.